Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. ***********Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.***********Compromise :The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.***********Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. . ***********Dictionary:A place where divorce comes before marriage.***********Conference Room:A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.***********Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. ***********Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read.***********Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight. **********Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.***********Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.***********Etc:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.***********Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.***********Experience :The name men give to their mistakes.***********Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.***********Philosopher :A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.***********Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. ***********Opportunist:A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.***********Optimist :A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet. ***********Pessimist:A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY ***********Miser:A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.***********Father:A banker provided by nature.*********** Criminal:A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.***********Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. ***********Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.***********Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .***********